PS I Love You
by rahzwell
Summary: Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?
1. Chapter 1

*****Reposted due to computer issues sorry**

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ One

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Story Notes:**_

**1) **In this 'verse, Rachel and Puck are siblings. Rachel was born to Hiram and Leon via surrogate, and Puck and his sister were taken in by the Berrys after Puck's mother, Hiram's cousin, was killed in a car accident.

Rachel isn't with Finn either. Finn will be making an appearance, but he will not be attracted to Rachel.

**2)** Kurt never went to Dalton and won't meet Blaine until he goes back to Ohio to visit where he and Noah met - McKinley's choir room.

**3)** Kurt also never had to deal with Kurofsky because he was with Puck. Puck, along with most of the football team, ensured that Kurt wasn't harrassed.

**4) **Finn did not attend McKinley and was never with Rachel or Quinn.

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kurt sat in the chairs at the front of the small crowd of family and friends staring at the coffin in front of him. Tears silently slid down his face as he watched mourners move past.

The tumor had been diagnosed just 4 months ago. In that short time, Noah had gotten weaker and more fragile with each passing day. When the end had come, some would say that it must be a relief to him that Noah was at peace. Kurt would nodded and give them a sad smile. Inside, however, he was seething.

No, he wasn't relieved to have lost the only man he had or ever would love. And, he didn't give a damn if Noah was _at peace_. It may have been the most selfish thing in the entire world, but Kurt would have prefered that Noah still be with him. And, it pissed him off to no end that these people would say such things to him.

"Kurt?" Kurt turned toward the voice to see Rachel standing next to him. She, too, was crying. "I am so sorry." She opened her arms and Kurt found himself pulled into her arms despite himself.

He sniffed into her hair and nodded. He couldn't form words right now. He couldn't even think straight.

"If you need anything," she began, "anything at all, just call me." She pulled away and looked up into his eyes. Kurt nodded and smiled sadly again.

Of all the people there, it was Rachel who seemed to understand the best. She didn't partronize him or give him useless plattitudes. She let him cry on her shoulder and let him hold on to her when he thought he'd drown in grief. She was his rock. She reminded him of her brother so much sometimes.

"You want me to come by the apartment to help you pack things?" She asked.

"Not yet." Kurt sniffed. "I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Okay." Rachel said. "Just call me, okay?"

Kurt nodded. Rachel gave him a sad smile before heading back toward her fathers.

-/-

When Kurt got back to the apartment, the apartment he'd shared with Noah for the last 7 years, he didn't know what to do. There was so much of Noah still there. He could practically hear the sound of Noah's voice still ringing through the rooms.

Kurt sat down on the sofa and took a shaky breath. He hadn't let himself completely break down. He couldn't do it in front of Noah. He refused to be so weak. But, now, sitting alone in the place that was their home, it all came crashing down.

The sobs started quietly, then grew. Before he even realized what was going on, Kurt was wracked with sobs and curled in on himself. Kurt completely broke. He'd kept eveything in for so long. He'd stayed strong even through the funeral and burial. And, now, he just couldn't be strong anymore. He wasn't sure if he'd ever stop crying and wasn't completely sure he even cared.

-/-

"Kurt?"

Kurt heard his name, but couldn't get his eyes to open. He had no real idea how long it had been or even if he cared. He just pulled the pillow he'd been laying on over his head and burrowed back into the couch.

"Kurt?"

The voice was louder now, but Kurt was still determined to ignore it.

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!"

With that the pillow was yanked away to reveal the owner of said voice. Rachel Berry. At first she looked angry, then concerned.

"What?" Kurt groaned. He grabbed for the pillow agin, but Rachel pulled it out of his reach.

"You were supposed to call me." Rachel huffed. "I thought you wanted me to help pack up Noah's things?"

"I told you yesterday that I wasn't ready." Kurt said.

"That was almost a week ago, Kurt."

Kurt was about ready to argue, but then looked at Rachel again. She was obviously concerned. Yeah, the anger was there, but she was very much worried about him.

"A week?" Rachel nodded as Kurt looked around the apartment.

The apartment was a mess. The laundry was sitting in the corner half in and half out of the hamper. Delivery food boxes littered the coffee table and the floor near the couch.

"I started to get worried." Rachel said. "Your Dad said to just leave you alone and that you'd come out on your own, but then your office called."

"Oh, crap."

"Yes, you still have a job, but only just." Rachel said. "Apparently Lorraine can be more than understanding about these things." Kurt ran a hand over his face. "You're welcome."

"Thank you, Rachel." Kurt said pulling himself up off the couch and moving to hug his sister-in-law. Rachel pulled away from him holding her hand up. "What?"

"You reek." Rachel said. "When was the last time you showered?"

Kurt wrinkled his nose. He could smell himself. Yuck.

"Sorry." He said. "I haven't been all that motivated to do much of anything."

"Well, trust me, showering should be your first priority." Rachel gave him a gentle shove toward the bathroom. "I'll straighten up out here. Now, go."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Idiot." Rachel said already headed toward the kitchen mumbling about needing a trash bag and disinfectant spray.

-/-

The shower did more than just clean his body. Kurt could feel his mind start to clear as well. If he had been holed up here for a week, he must have drifted through it without really paying attention.

The last thing he'd remembered was crying after the burial. Judging by the food boxes, he must have ordered in. He'd obviously kept himself fed. But, the condition of the apartment was unacceptable. Noah wouldn't have been angry. He rarely got angry, but he would have been concerned. Come to think of it, Noah would have acted in almost the same manner as Rachel. Kurt smiled at the memory and the tears threatened again.

"Damn." He muttered to himself.

By the time he'd finished showering, Rachel had cleaned up all the trash, straightened the living room, thrown everything down the garbage shute and was in the process of cooking some manner of soup. The food smelled wonderful and Kurt's stomach gave an incredibly loud rumble.

"I was going to ask if you were hungry." Rachel said. She smiled and set the small table with two bowls and a sleeve of crackers. "Guess your stomach answered already."

Kurt smiled sheepishly and sat down across from the petite brunette. He had put on a pair of comfortable old jeans and plain white henley shirt. The smell of the soup made his stomach growl again.

"Better feed the beast before it breaks free." Rachel

smiled.

Two bowls and a sleeve and a half of crackers later, Kurt felt a lot more human. He smiled at Rachel. She smiled back looking a lot less worried than when she first woke Kurt up.

"Thank you so much." Kurt said.

"You are more than welcome." Rachel said as they took their bowls to the sink. "You really had me worried, Kurt."

"I'm sorry, Rachel." Kurt said. "I didn't mean to worry anyone."

"I know, but I couldn't help it." Rachel said. "Besides, the girls want to do something special for your birthday." She shrugged. "I told them that you might now want to, but Mercedes is insistant. They mean well."

"I know." Kurt said.

"I'll tell you what," Rachel began, "I'll tell them yes, for now, and then if you don't feel like doing anything, I'll get them to back off. Deal?"

"Deal." Kurt said. "I miss him, you know."

"Me, too." Rachel said. "We'll just have to get through it together, right." She held up her pinky. Kurt linked his pink to her's. They pulled away and waggled their fingers causing them both to giggle.

"You realize we just did the gay high five?" Kurt laughed.

"Yeah, we did." Rachel said smiling. "Anyway, tomorrow, I'm coming back and we're going to get the rest of this mess cleaned up and get everything taken care of, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He pulled Rachel into a hug. "Thank you."

"What are friends for, right?" Kurt nodded and let her go. "Tomorrow? All right? First thing?" Kurt saluted her and went back to washing the dishes.

-/-


	2. Chapter 2

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Two

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Slowly, Kurt got as close to back-to-normal as he could considering. He went back to work at the fashion house even though his heart really wasn't much in it. His _passion for fashion _as Noah had called it just wasn't there. He went through the motions, but he just wasn't happy. Most everyone knew what had happened and even Lorraine was giving him the space he needed but even her patience was starting the run thin.

"Kurt?" Kurt turned to see Lorraine standing in the doorway of his office.

"Yes."

"How are you?" She asked haltingly as she moved to face him.

"I'm fine." He said trying to smile and failing.

"Are you happy here?"

"Of course."

"You just haven't been your extraordinary self lately." Lorraine shrugged. "I just need to know that I can depend on you. That you can overcome everything to be my goto designer just like always."

"I'm trying, Lorraine." Kurt said. "I really am."

"I know you are." Lorraine said smiling. "It's the reason you are still employed here at all, Love." She sat down across from him and crossed her legs. "Do you think you came back too soon?" She raised her hand to stop Kurt's protest before he started it. "It's just that throwing yourself into you work may not be the best plan considering some of the sketches I've seen. They are decidedly uninspired, Love. Not worthy of you even as a first-year design student."

"I'll admit that I am a little distracted." Kurt nodded. "But, it's nothing I can't deal with."

"Perhaps." Lorraine said leaning forward to pat the back of Kurt's hand in a motherly fashion. "But, if you need the time, please, all you need is to ask. You know that."

"I know." Kurt said. "Thank you."

-/-

"Maybe she has a point, Kurt." Rachel said as the taxi pulled into the parking lot of a local club.

"I'm fine, Rachel." Kurt said. "Now, can we please change the subject."

"Yeah, like are you ready for your birthday celebration." Mercedes said from the back of the SUV.

"I can't even imagine what you have in store for me, ladies." Kurt said as he eyed the club suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing." Tina smiled. "Just a little music, dancing, drinking. You know, fun."

"It isn't everday that you turn the big 3-0." Santana said smiling widely at Brittany.

"For our favorite Unicorn." Brittany giggled kissing the back of Santana's hand she was holding.

It wasn't until they were inside that Kurt began to look around. Most of the people there were women. There was a stage. He cocked his head and looked a Rachel.

"What exactly is this place, Rachel?"

"_All right ladies! Welcome to Woody's Show Bar!"_

"Oh My God!" Kurt said. "You didn't." Rachel just laughed and waggled her eyebrows.

_"Put your hands together, Ladies, for the hottest piece of action to ever put his hands on a hose. THE FIREMAN!"_

Kurt rolled his eyes as a guy in fake turnout gear burst through the curtain and onto the stage. Kurt rolled his eyes as the guy danced and gyrated all over the stage before moving to the side for the next dancer.

_"There's a new sheriff in town, Ladies, and he's coming for you. Save a horse and ride THE COWBOY!"_

The next guy came out in a cowboy hat and jeans. He then moved directly in front of their group. He looked at Kurt and licked his lips. Kurt shook his head.

_"Last, but certainly not least, Ladies, he's got the remedy to whatever ails you, that's right, it's THE DOCTOR."_

"Such creativity on those names." Kurt said sarcastically. "They must have worked for seconds to come up with those."

"Hush, you." Mercedes said. "And, give me a dollar."

Kurt handed Mercedes several dollars as she moved closer to the stage. She was about to throw the bill at the dancers when they all three yanked off their tearaway pants at once. Cowboy man never took his eyes off of Kurt as he thrust his hips.

"I think you have a fan." Santana said to Kurt as they watched Mercedes ball up the bill and put it in her mouth. The Fireman smiled at Mercedes before leaning down to remove it with his mouth over hers.

"Not interested." Kurt said shaking his head.

"Maybe you should be." Santana said in his ear as she motioned toward the stage where Mercedes and Rachel were taking turns sliding singles up the dancer's legs and tucking them into the leg holes of his g-string. Kurt shook his head and just sat back down at the table. "Puck's gone, Kurt. Live a little."

Kurt's mouth fell open and he stared at the latina as if she'd grown another head.

"Um, no." Kurt said flatly.

"Kurt -."

"I said, no." Kurt repeated. "And, if that's the reason we came here tonight, I think it's time to leave."

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Rachel said stumbling a little as she walked back to the table.

"I think I'm leaving." Kurt said.

"You can't leave." Rachel said a little sloppily. "This is your party."

"Did you bring me here to hook up with some dancer I don't know?"

"Of course not." Rachel scoffed. "We just wanted you to have fun." She looked at Santana accusingly. "What did you say to him?"

"What we've all been thinking." Santana shrugged. "Kurt needs to get on with his life." Rachel's mouth fell open. "Puck's dead. Kurt isn't. 'Nuff said." She turned on Kurt. "Move on. Get laid. Christ."

"Enough." Rachel said. "Kurt, that isn't why we brought you here. Although, it was Santana that suggested this place." She looked a Santana with an exasperated expression. "We," she made a sweeping moiton with her hand to indicate Tina, Mercedes, and herself, "just wanted you to have a good time and to maybe forget about being sad for a little while."

"Yeah, Kurth." Mercedes said sluring his name a little bit. "Forget about Queen Satan and come on."

She grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the stage before he could protest. She handed him one of the singles she had and moitoned toward the stage. Kurt turned a unique shade of crimson when _the Doctor _took the bill and slowly slid it down the front of his scimpy trunks.

-/-

They got home late all of them leaning on one another to make it the last few feet to the cab. The cab got to Kurt's building just a few minutes later.

"Okay, guys." Santana said pulling Brittany toward her as Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes slid out of the cab. "See you all tomorrow for lunch."

"Bye." Rachel said waving and laughing drunkenly. She leaned into Kurt to keep from falling and he swayed a bit trying to keep them upright.

"Make it a late lunch." Mercedes said. "Clancy's at 2 or so."

"See you then." Brittany said as she turned into Santana and caught the latina off guard with an open mouthed kiss.

"Bye." Kurt said smiling and waving. "So, you guys staying over?"

"I can walk home -." Mercedes began.

"I don't think so. It is far too late or early for you to be walking the streets of New York alone. Come on." Kurt looped his arm through Mercedes' as Rachel looped her's through Kurt's.

"We're off to see the Wizard." Rachel started singing loudly and off key as she attempted to get the other two to skip.

"Rachel." Kurt said. "Be quite. You're going to wake up the whole neighborhood. Good God."

"In the city that doesn't sleep." Rachel sung lower and still off key.

"Good Lord." Kurt said. "Walk, don't skip. You're going to make all of us fall on our asses."

Rachel just giggled and curled into Kurt laughing. Mercedes laughed and pulled them both toward the door. The doorman smiled at Kurt and held the door opened as they trio stumbled in.

"Thanks, Marcus." Kurt waved as he wrangled the other two toward the elevator. "Come on, you two, up we go."

-/-


	3. Chapter 3

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Three

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kurt was the first to wake up and immediately realized he wasn't alone. He opened his eyes to find Mercedes cuddled into his left side and Rachel laying on the right side of his body. He squirmed a bit and got the two women to dislodge themselves from him and cuddle with each other so he could get out of bed. He wasn't too hung over, but he needed coffee and he knew that Mercedes and Rachel both would also be in need of caffiene when they woke up. He padded into the kitchen and set up the coffee maker.

Kurt was on his second cup when Rachel emerged from his bedroom. Her hair was a mess and her makeup smeared. Kurt smiled.

"Morning?" Kurt singsonged.

"Uh, coffee?"

Kurt handed Rachel the cup he had already started filling when he heard the door to his bedroom open.

"Nectar of the Gods." Rachel said as she gulped down the steaming beverage.

"Mercedes among the living yet?" Kurt asked. Rachel just shrugged. "I'll check on her in a second. Hungry?"

"Oh, God no." Rachel said cradling her head in her hands. "I'm not even sure if I'll want to eat lunch this afternoon. Ugh."

She looked up as Mercedes decided just then to make her first appearance of the day. Kurt was already handing her coffee. She smiled as she took the cup and gave it a cursory blow before downing the whole thing in all of one gulp.

"More." Mercedes said as she handed the cup back to Kurt.

"Easy now." Kurt said pouring her only half a cup.

"Am I wearing your sweats?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"Would you rather sleep in your Donna Karan?" Kurt asked.

"You changed my clothes?"

"No, you did, but, just a side note, when you're drunk, you have absolutely no inhibitions at all." Kurt said. "Nice tattoo on your hip by the way, but why the Chinese symbol for soup?"

"It isn't the symbol for soup." Rachel said. "It's - it's the symbol for serenity."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's soup." Kurt said. "I researched them last spring for the Asian themed show we had at the beginning of the summer season. Remember?"

"Son of a bitch." Rachel said pulling out the side of the sweats she was wearing to look at her tattoo.

"Where'd you get that, anyway?" Kurt asked sipping his own coffee.

"Lima." Rachel said rolling her eyes. "'Nuff said."

"Is that the right time?" Mercedes asked nearly choking on the sip of coffee she was taking.

"Yes."

"Oh, Good God." Rachel said. "When are the others getting here? We have to go home and change and -."

"You both still have clothes here from God only knows when." Kurt said. "It's all hanging in the guest room closet."

"You are the best." Rachel said kissing Kurt on the cheek as she grabbed Mercedes and headed toward the guest room. "You make me want to be your boyfriend."

Kurt just rolled his eyes and continued sipping his coffee.

-/-

Santana and Brittany arrived around 2:45. Kurt buzzed them up and was immediately assaulted by a far too enthusiastic Brittany when he opened the apartment door.

"Hey, Birthday Boy." Brittany all but shouted.

"My birthday was yesterday, Brit." Kurt corrected.

"But, you're still 30, right?"

"Yes, and thank you for reminding me."

"This was on the door step." Santana said holding out a package.

"Probably from Dad." Kurt said. He set the box on the coffee table. "So, are we still going to Clancy's?"

"Open your box, Kurt." Brittany said. "I want to see what your Dad sent you."

"Brittany." Rachel scolded.

"It's okay." Kurt said. "I'll open it and then we'll go."

He looked at the return address and his knees gave out. It was a good thing he was standing right in front of the sofa or he would have sat down on the floor.

"Kurt?" Rachel said rushing to his side. "What is it?"

Kurt pointed to the return address. Rachel read it and her eyes went wide.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Kurt said.

"What do you mean?" Mercedes said reading the return address as well.

"Noah?" Kurt said his voice tinged with anger. "Someone thinks this is a joke?"

"Why would Puck send you a package?" Brittany said not truly understanding what was going on. "He lives here."

"Brit." Santana said.

"Oh, right." Brittany said. "I'm sorry, Kurt. But, why would Puck send you a package?"

Kurt stared at the box for several minutes trying to get his heart to stop racing. He used his letter opened to break the tape and slowly pulled back the box flaps. Inside he found two things: an envelope, and an small digital recorder. A sticky note on the recorder read "play me first". Kurt looked at the familiar handwriting and felt himself start to hyperventilate. He pressed the play button before he could second guess himself.

"Hey, Baby."

It was Noah's voice. Tears sprang to Kurt's eyes. He rolled his lips into his mouth trying desperately to stop himself from shaking.

"Happy Birthday." The recording continued. "I know you and your girls went out last night, right?" Kurt nodded his head as if Noah could see. "Santana took you guys to Woody's, didn't she?" Kurt's head whipped in Santana's direction. "She said she would. I told her to get you out on your birthday and force you to have a good time if she had to." Kurt couldn't stop the small sob that escaped his lips. "She went so far as to say she'd even get you laid. I doubt that she succeded in doing so, though. I know you. And, I'm sure you probably figured her out and even got pissed at her for it."

"Please don't cry, baby." Noah said softly. "I didn't send this to you to make you cry." Kurt sniffed and cleared his throat. "I want you to do something for me. I want you to take time off from work. Yes, I know you went back already. And, I know that Lorraine has probably offered you time off by now." Kurt set the recorder down on the coffee table and looked around the apartment as if expected to see Noah watching him. "I want you to take the time off that Lorraine offered you. I want you to go home. Spend time with you Father. You need him right now. I know that." Kurt sniffed again.

"While you're there, I want you to go to the place where I first told you I loved you." Kurt frowned. "Don't frown like that. It causes wrinkles." Kurt chuckled. "That's better. Go home. And, remember, I love you."

The recording ended and everyone was silent. Kurt looked from one woman to the other, but they all looked as shocked and surprised as he felt. He had thought that this was some kind of joke, but now, he had no idea who had done this and it most certainly wasn't a joke.

"Kurt?" Rachel said. "What are you going to do?"

"I guess I'll be talking to Lorraine first thing Monday." Kurt breathed.

"You're going home, then?" Mercedes said.

"Yeah." Kurt said softly. "He's right, I do need my Dad." He shrugged. "I should have gone home with him when he left. I wanted to, but I thought I had to be strong." Kurt sniffed as tears started tracking down his cheeks once again. "I just want my Dad." He opened the envelope to find a plane ticket to Ohio and paperwork for a rental car.

"Oh, Kurt." Brittany said as he wrapped her arms around him. "Don't cry."

Kurt allowed Brittany to pull him closer as the other women also wrapped their arms around him.

"Okay." Santana said as she pulled away and attempted to wiped the tears away from her eyes and off her cheeks. "This is too gay even for you, Kurt."

Kurt laughed and pulled back. He sniffed one last time and took a deep breath.

"Okay, I have first dibs on the bathroom to fix my face," he began, "and, then we are going to lunch." The others all smiled and wiped at their own eyes.

-/-

_**Chapter Notes:**_ Okay, so, I am a huge, huge fan of "The Big Bang Theory". I love the episode where Leonard, Howard, and Raj go camping to watch a meteor shower leaving Penny to call Sheldon for help when she falls in the shower and dislocates her shoulder. I used almost the exact same exchange between Kurt and Rachel that Penny and Sheldon had as he was driving her to the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Four

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Wednesday afternoon found Kurt stepping off of the plane from New York into the waiting arms of his father. Kurt has never shied away from public scenes, but he did manage to keep it together until they got to the house. Burt smiled widely as Kurt wrapped his arms about the older man and hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad you're here, Kiddo." Burt said. "I was kind of surprised, though. I mean, you seemed to be doing just fine when I left to come home."

"I know." Kurt said his voice muffled by his Dad's shirt. "I guess I was numb. It didn't all really hit me until a couple days ago. Noah's dead, Dad." Kurt's voice broke.

"I know." Burt said tightening his hold on the younger man. "I know. I am so, sorry, Son." Pulled away to look Kurt in the eye.

"We are a matched set, aren't we?" Kurt said as he moved to sit at the small table in Burt's kitchen.

"I would give just about anything for you not to have to go through this, Son." Burt said voice full of emotion and unshed tears. Kurt nodded. "So, what are going to do while you're here?"

"Well, like I told you on the phone," Kurt began, "Noah said in his recording that he wanted me to go to the place where he first told me he loved me."

"Which is?"

"The Lima Bean." Kurt said. "It was when I was in Community College and working for that theater company on the weekends. He was working there to subsidize his pool cleaning business. Remember."

"Oh yeah." Burt said. "I remember you coming home acting all loopy. I thought you were drunk."

"Drunk on love." Kurt quipped.

"I wasn't the least bit happy about it either, as I recall." Burt said.

"Well, a boy with _the_ worst reputation in all of Lima, Ohio told your son that he was in love with him." Kurt offered. "Of course, you weren't happy."

"A straight boy at that." Burt added.

"Well, not quite so, apparently." Kurt smiled sheepishly at Burt. Burt cocked an eyebrow.

"He had dated or slept with most of the female population of McKinley High School, Kurt." Burt continued. "It was a pretty safe assumption at the time."

"And, then there was Beth." Kurt said.

"Oh, yeah, and then there was Beth." Burt said. "I saw her and her mother at the market yesterday."

"How are they?" Kurt asked. "I didn't say much to them at the funeral. I was just too far into myself at the time."

"They're good." Burt nodded. "Quinn and Wes are closing on their new house soon. Beth is such a mini-Quinn. She's very much the girly girl. But, I do see glimpses of Puck in her, too. Especially when she's being mischeivous." Burt pursed his lips. "Are you going to go see them while you're here?"

"I don't know, yet." Kurt said. "I don't know if I can handle that, you know." Kurt dropped his eyes to the table. "Beth is the one thing that Puck had with Quinn that we never had together."

"You wanted a baby?" Burt asked.

"We discussed it on occasion." Kurt said. "But, I always put Noah off. I always thought we'd have time."

"Well, I don't know about all that, but why don't we get you all settled in." Burt smiled and put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "We can order in and watch a movie and you can do what you need to tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan, Dad." Kurt smiled as he turned to grab his bag.

"You unpack and I'll order the food."

"Deal." Kurt said as he headed down stairs to his old room.

-/-

Kurt arrived at the Lima Bean the following afternoon. He shook his head. It looked exactly the same. Not that is would have changed or anything.

Inside also looked exactly the same as it always had. Kurt smiled to himself as he looked around the coffee shop. There were the professional types that had started the coffee shop craze and couples with babies and he even recognized the blazer of the all boys school he and the New Directions had gone up against junior year.

Kurt shook his head and walked up to the counter. A tall man behind the counter looked up and smiled.

"How can I help you?" He asked. His name tag read "Finn". Finn had adorable dimples and his eyes sparkled. There was really no other way to describe it. The man's eyes sparkled.

"Uh, let me get a short decaf pick of the day." Kurt said shyly.

"Do you need room for cream?" Finn asked. Kurt cleared his throat and tried to not to read anything into what the other man was asking.

"No." Kurt managed. "Thank you."

"Anything else?"

"How about a chocolate chip cookie on the side?"

"Coming right up." Finn said. "Who do I make this out to?" Finn asked playfully as he picked up the marker to write on Kurt's cup.

"Kurt." Kurt chuckled.

"Alright." Finn said. "To Kurt, all my best, Finn." He said pretending to write but only actually writing Kurt's name on the cup. He set the cup down and frowned. "Kurt? Kurt Hummel?"

"Um, yes, how -?" Kurt stammered.

"That's trippy." Finn said. "I have a letter for you."

"What?"

"I know, right." Finn said. "Like I said, trippy. It came in just yesterday." Finn looked around for a moment before locating the envelope between the register and the end of the counter. "Here."

"Thank you." Kurt said.

"Sure thing." Finn smiled again. Kurt blushed slightly. "Your coffee'll be ready in a minute."

Kurt sat down at a table to the left of the counter. He stared at the envelope in his hands. Like the package that had arrived at his apartment in New York, this one was addressed to Kurt in Noah's handwriting. Kurt didn't know what to do. He wanted to read the letter, but in a way he didn't want to even open it.

"You okay?" Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin. "Whoa, whoa, sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." Finn said raising his hands in a motion of surrender.

"Sorry." Kurt said.

"Bad news?"

"I haven't read it yet."

"Why not?"

"It's from my late husband."

"Late?" Finn said. "Oh God, he died?" Kurt nodded. "Oh man, that sucks. I'm really sorry."

"Thank you."

"Why'd he send you a letter here?"

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged. "This the second letter I've gotten."

"Pretty busy for a dead guy." Finn said cocking an eyebrow at Kurt.

"Yeah." Kurt smiled.

"Well, here's your cookie, too, you left it on the counter."

"Thank you."

"If you need anything else, just ask okay?"

"Sure."

Kurt took a deep breath and opened the letter.

**~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~**

_Dear Kurt,_

_If you're reading this, then I know that you are in Ohio. And, I know you are probably wondering why. Why I would send you back to Ohio and why I would leave you a letter at the Lima Bean of all places._

_Well, first of all, you needed to come back to Ohio. I know how close you and Burt have always been, and you need your Dad. I wish I had a Dad like yours. I don't think I ever told you, but I would have given my right arm to have a father who loved me and cared about me the way Burt has always loved and cared about you. Your dad isn't going to be around forever. He needs you as much if not more than you need him, Baby. Spend as much time as you can with him and never take him for granted, Love. _

_Secondly, I want you to do something for me. I want you to go to Quinn. She and I have never really been on the best of terms, but you and she have always gotten along. I know that you would call her from time to time. I also know that you would always remember to send Beth cards and presents on her birthday and Christmas. _

_You were the reason that Beth thought her Daddy was the best in the world, so I want you to go see her. I want you to spend time with my Daughter. I want you to be in her life. She is the best thing that came out of my relationship with Quinn and I want her to know why her Daddy was so good at it. It was because you were so good at it. Quinn is expecting you to call her and Beth will already be excited to see her Uncle Kurt. Go, baby, spend time with her and please don't let her forget me._

_Love, Noah_

_PS: I love you._

**~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~**

Kurt could barely see the paper by the end. He cried quietly as he carefully folded the letter once again and gently slid it back into the envelope. He looked at his untouch coffee and cookie and used the napkin to dab at his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Finn said purposely moving into Kurt's line of sight before speaking.

"I will be." Kurt said. "It's really hard, you know. Especially when I get these letters from him. In his handwriting. I just expect him to come out from hiding and tell me that it was all just a dream or a sick joke or something."

"You really loved him, huh?" Finn said.

"Oh, God." Kurt said. "I have no idea why I'm telling you all this."

"I'm a good listener." Finn said. "People talk to me all the time like they know me. There are a lot of my regulars that I don't even know their last names, but they treat me like their best friend."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it?" Finn said. Kurt shrugged. "Do you live around here?"

"No, I live in New York." Kurt said. "I was born here, though, and my Father still lives here."

"Do you need me to call you a cab or anything?"

"No, I'm fine." Kurt said. "But, thank you."

Kurt stood up, grabbed his coat and the letter before moving quickly out the door. Kurt didn't turn around as much as he wanted to. He couldn't bring himself to even look at the handsome stranger he'd somehow saw the need to tell his life story to. He had been flirting with Finn. Puck was barely cold and Kurt had been flirting with another man.

"Oh God." Kurt whispered to himself as he hurried out of the parking lot and drove back to his Dad's house.

It would be a few more hours before his father would get home and all Kurt wanted to do was curl up in his bed and cry.

-/-


	5. Chapter 5

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Five

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kurt called Quinn the following morning and, as Puck had written, she was expecting his call. Quinn invited Kurt over for dinner the following evening and Kurt begrudgingly agreed.

Kurt turned onto the street where Quinn lived with Beth and her husband, Wes, already trying to convince himself to call and cancel. He pulled into the driveway still trying to convince himself to just leave. He was still tempted to leave right up to the point when he knocked on the door.

Quinn opened the door and immediately pulled Kurt into a hug. Kurt hugged her back tightly. He felt the small sob that shook Quinn's frame and before either of them knew it, they were standing in the foyer crying in each other's arms. Kurt heard someone move past them to close the front door and the name "Daddy" said in a small frightened voice.

Kurt pulled away and looked at Quinn, then down the hall where Wes was kneeling down in front of Beth talking softly. Quinn smiled at him through her tears.

"I am so glad you came." She said.

"Me, too." Kurt said with a sniff.

"Uncle Kurt?" Beth called, a confused look on her face.

"Hey, Pumpkin." Kurt said smiling.

Beth hurried down the hall and wrapped her arms around Kurt's waist. Kurt crouched down and pulled Beth into a real hug. She hugged him tightly and pulled away smiling and it took Kurt's breath away when she did. Her smile was so much like Puck's he felt himself starting to tear up again.

"Mommy made roast for dinner, Uncle Kurt." Beth said excitedly. "Do you like roast? I like roast. We had to wait for you to get here to eat and Daddy's really hungry." She took Kurt's hand and started dragging him down the hall. "I'm really hungry, too. Does your stomach growl when you're hungry? My stomach growls when I'm hungry. Mommy put potatoes and carrots in with the roast, but if you don't like carrots," she scrunched up her nose, "you only have to eat one helping and then you can eat more roast and potatoes."

Kurt allowed himself to be pulled into the dining room as Beth continued to talk a mile a minute. He couldn't help but smile. He looked at Quinn who was smiling at Beth and shaking her head.

Quinn disappeared into the kitchen as Kurt, Wes, and Beth sat down at the table. Beth continued to talk and probably would have continued if Quinn hadn't picked that paticular moment to come in from the kitchen with dinner.

"Yay!" Beth said clapping her hands.

-/-

After dinner they all sat in the living room talking. Beth was laying in front of the TV. She was watching cartoons and laughing periodically.

"How long are you planning to be in town, Kurt?" Wes asked.

"I don't know really." Kurt said. "It's just good to be home for a while. I've been pretty lost since Puck -."

"I can't even imagine." Wes said taking Quinn's hand. "I have no idea what I would do in your position."

"Forgive him." Quinn said rolling her eyes. "He has been this way for -."

"Ever." Wes interrupted. Quinn chuckled and shook her head. Wes kissed her on the cheek as a blush rose in her cheeks.

"We wanted to ask you something, actually." Wes said. "We didn't want to do it over the phone, so it was good for us that you decided to come home when you did."

"Ask me what?" Kurt frowned.

"Well, we wanted to find out if you would want to be Beth's guardian if anything should happen to us?"

"Wha- ?"

"I set it up to be Puck right after she was born." Quinn said. "Puck agreed with Wes and I that if anything happened to me, Beth should stay with Wes, but if something were to happen to the both of us, she should be with her Father."

"When Puck got sick, we started trying to figure out who should replace him." Wes offered. "We thought about just about everyone. Both sides of the family. Friends."

"But, we always came back to you, Kurt." Quinn said. "I know. I know that it was you who sent the cards and presents for Beth." Kurt looked surprised. "Please, my daughter would have been raised playing with cars and wearing jeans and leather jackets if you hadn't had some say in what Puck sent her." Quinn smiled. "I could tell that you had more than a little bit of influence on the choices."

"Quinn, I just -."

"It's okay." Quinn shook her head. "Puck was awful at giving gifts. When we were together, his big move was handwritten gift certificates for sex." Kurt snorted. "He wanted to name Beth, Jack Daniels, well, Jackie Daniels, but please." Kurt nodded remembering the fight that had ensued over the name. "So, when Beth started getting princess dress up sets and Barbie dolls, I knew it was you."

"You were the only choice as far as we were concerned, Kurt." Wes nodded.

"So, what do you say?" Quinn asked tears standing in her eyes again.

"How could I ever say no." Kurt said smiling.

"Oh, thank you." Quinn said.

Kurt stood up with Quinn and hugged her once more. Wes had one hand on Quinn's lower back and the other on Kurt's shoulder.

"You're a good man, Kurt." Wes said. "I love Beth as if she were my own and couldn't imagine her going with anyone else. Thanks." Kurt shook Wes' hand.

"Mommy, why are you crying again?" Beth said looking up from her position on the floor.

"Happy tears, Baby." Quinn said. "Happy tears."

Beth smiled and hopped up from the floor to be included in the hug. Kurt smiled down at her.

_So much like Puck._ He thought and bent down to kiss the top of her head.

-/-

"Oh, Kurt." Quinn said as Kurt was putting on his coat to leave. "I know that you have been getting letters from Noah. I got one, too." She held out another envelope addressed to Kurt. "This was in with mine." She handed Kurt an envelope. "He left a note to give it to you just before you left."

"Thank you." Kurt said taking the note gingerly and slipping it in the inside pocket of his coat.

"He loved you so much." Quinn said. "To be honest, I was a little jealous of you for a long time." Kurt cocked his eyebrow and looked at Quinn as if she'd sprouted a new head. "It's true. I had his body, for a while and I had his child, but you, Kurt, you got his heart. Right from the very beginning."

"Quinn." Kurt started to protest.

"No, it's true, Kurt." Quinn said holding up her hand. "It's okay. I'm over it now. I have Wes and I couldn't be more happy." She took a breath. "But, I saw the way he looked at you. The way he looked when he talked about you. You were his life, Kurt, and I know that whatever journey he has concocted for you with these letters is his way of saying good-bye and letting you know that he loved you enough to let you move on."

Kurt nodded unable to find his voice. They hugged once more before he headed to his car and drove home.

-/-

Kurt sat at the small vanity in his old bedroom staring at yet another letter. He took a breath and opened it.

**~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~**

_Dear Kurt,_

_Okay, so yeah, I pretty much knew what Quinn and Wes were going to ask you tonight. They came to me first. I knew that we were going to have to find a new guardian for Beth. When they said something about you, it was a no-brainer. I mean, really, who else could it be? Who could I trust with the most important thing I have ever done in my life? The same person I trusted with my heart, maybe? My life? Like I said, no-brainer. _

_I know your first instinct is to be angry, but please, Baby, don't be mad. Life is just too short for anger. I'm not doing this to make you angry or sad, I just need to. Please understand._

_I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. I thought you were beautiful. I would have never said it. I didn't even know what thinking of you as beautiful meant at the time. And, unfortunately I spent way too much time proving how badass I was instead of realizing why I was doing what I was doing to you. _

_It wasn't until David Karofsky made his presence known that I finally pulled my head out of my ass and saw you, I mean really saw you, for who you were and what you meant to me. For that, I owe Karofsky a debt of gratitude. I also owe him the Holy Grail of beat downs, but that's another story, huh? _

_Anyway, I want you to go back to where it all started. Back to the hallowed halls of William McKinley High School. Mr. Shuester is still there, by the way. I'm sure he would love a visit from you. _

_Love, Noah_

_PS: I love you _

**~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~**

Kurt stared at the letter as if the words would change. The last place on Earth he would ever want to go back to was McKinley. High school had been a nightmare. Kurt had been hounded everyday for the way he looked, the clothes he wore and for his voice. And, the fact that he was in Glee Club didn't help in the least.

"McKinley?" Kurt said out loud. "Really. Puck, you are so pushing this crap now."

Kurt folded up the letter and tucked it back into the envelope. He heard the door upstairs and knew that his Dad was home. He laid the letter aside and hurried upstairs. He and his dad were making dinner together tonight. Kurt hoped that it would take his mind off of McKinley and David -fucking- Karofsky.

-/-


	6. Chapter 6

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Six

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

McKinley High School would never change. Kurt was sure of it. The building looked the same. It even smelled the same. It was the same. Just as it had looked the last time he'd been there.

The bell rang as he walked toward the chior room. A torrent of teenagers emptied into the hallways. Kurt found himself pushed to the side of the hall and into the nearest classroom. He turned to find himself in the old choir room. He smiled and looked around half expecting Mr. Shuester to come bouncing into the room talking about Sectionals or Regionals or telling he and the other members of the Glee Club that he was going to ask Ms. Pilsbury to marry him.

Kurt smiled to himself. Puck told Kurt his true feelings for him for the first time in this very room. It'd had happened shortly after one David Karofsky had begun to be particularly aggressive in his bullying of Kurt.

Puck had found Kurt here one day, crying and shaking as he sat alone in the choir room. Kurt had told Puck everything that day. The truth about Karofsky shoving him, slamming him against lockers and finally about a particularly confusing encounter Kurt had with Karofsky in the boys locker room.

Kurt shuttered at the memory. Kurt had grown tired of the abuse and had confronted the other boy. They had shouted at each other and Kurt remembered daring Karofsky to hit him. When Karofsky had yelled something about Kurt not pushing him, Kurt had accused Karofsky of being a scared little boy who was afraid of how ordinary he was. Karofsky had then grabbed Kurt's head and smashed his mouth over Kurt's.

The kiss had terrified Kurt. He didn't know what it meant and at that moment was afraid for his safety. When Karofsky attempted to pull him back again, Kurt pushed him away and Karofsky had slammed his fists against the lockers and stormed out. Kurt didn't know what to do. He felt cemented to the spot. When he did finally move, he found himself drawn to the choir room. He had only been sitting there for a few moments when Puck came in.

_Kurt had flinched when the other boy sat down next to him. Puck had sat quietly for a few moments before speaking._

_"Dude?" He asked softly. "Are you okay?"_

_Kurt remembered how concerned Puck had looked. How the other boy had slowly put his arm around Kurt. Puck had nuzzled into Kurt's hair. It had felt right. Kurt allowed himself to be held and some of the fear eased. _

_"Did someone hurt you?" Puck asked. Kurt shook his head but still couldn't find his voice. "Did they scare you?" Kurt nodded and sniffed. _

_Puck had pulled away from Kurt then and Kurt missed his closeness immediately. _

_"Who?" Puck asked putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Who did this?"_

_"Does it matter?" Kurt sniffed. _

_"Was it Karofsky, wasn't it?" Kurt looked at Puck strangely. "I heard you talking to Mercedes and Tina during rehersal the other day." Kurt nodded understanding. "Was it?" Kurt nodded. "What'd he do?" _

_"He scared me is all." Kurt shrugged. _

_"You don't lie very well." Puck offered. "You know that don't you?" Kurt shrugged again. "What'd he do? Did he hit you? Did he try something?" Kurt looked at Puck surprised. "Oh, please, that guy pegs my gaydar every time I look at him." Kurt blushed but didn't say anything. "He did, didn't he? He tried something, didn't he?" Kurt shrugged but still would speak. "Tell me." Puck said shaking Kurt slightly. _

_"Stop it." Kurt said pushing Puck away. _

_"Sorry." Puck said dropping his arms to his sides. "I just get, um, protective, I guess, when it comes to you."_

_"Why?" Kurt said his arms folded across his chest._

_"Because of how I, um, feel about you." Puck stammered. Kurt cocked an eyebrow. "Are you going to make me say that I have feelings for you?" Kurt nodded. Puck smiled. "I do, you know. And, I will go all Optimus Prime on Karofsky if you want me to." Kurt smiled and shook his head. "How about I sit here with you until the rest of Glee Club gets here for rehersal?"_

_"Okay." Kurt said shyly. Puck smiled and wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulder again. "But, what about Zizes or Quinn or Santana?" _

_"Guess they'll just have to deal, huh?" Puck teased. Kurt smiled and snuggled back into Puck's side. _

Kurt was standing in the center of the room smiling to himself when he felt a hand on his arm. He nearly jumped out of his skin before looking around to find two of the most beautiful hazel eyes he had ever seen in his life.

"Sorry." The other man said. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"That's okay." Kurt said breathlessly. "I was daydreaming, I guess."

"Can I help you?" Hazel eyes said smiling.

"I was looking for Mr. Shuester?" Kurt said. "My, um, I heard he was still teaching here."

"Not teaching." Hazel eyes said. "But, _Principal_ Shuester should be in his office."

"Principal. Wow." Kurt said.

"I could walk with you to the office." Hazel eyes said. "I have to head down that way before class anyway."

"Sure, um -?"

"Oh, where are my manners?" He smiled shyly. "I'm Blaine Anderson. I coach Glee Club." He offered his hand to Kurt.

"Kurt." Kurt smiled shaking Blaine's hand. "Kurt Hummel."

"No way." Blaine said still holding Kurt's hand. "_The_ Kurt Hummel?"

"I don't know if I'm _the_ anyone, but I am Kurt Hummel." Kurt said dismissively.

"You and your team won Nationals." Blaine said. "You guys were the underdogs and you still won. I use your story with my guys all the time."

"That's nice."

Kurt looked down to see that Blaine was still holding his hand. Blaine pulled away self consciously and moitoned toward the door.

"Shall we?" Kurt nodded as Blaine led the way down the hall toward the office.

Blaine kept up an ongoing discussion as they walked. Kurt simply nodded from time to time as Blaine told Kurt about everything that his glee club had accomplished. According to Blaine the glee club had won Nationals every year since Blaine had taken over and were heading to Regionals in the next few weeks. Before Blaine had taken over, Mr. Shue had taken them to Nationals practically every year since the first year they'd gone when Kurt was still a student. And, they won 9 times since Kurt graduated.

"I'm sorry." Blaine apologized. "Here I am just running off at the mouth." He shook his head. "When I get nervous, all I do is ramble. Sorry."

"No need to apologize." Kurt said. "At least you're enthusiastic. Mr. Shue was always like that, actually."

"Kurt Hummel?" Kurt turned to see Mr. Shue coming to the door to his office. "As I live and breathe." Mr. Shue hugged Kurt laughing.

"I have to run by the nurses office, I'll be right back." Blaine said excusing himself.

"Good God, how long has it been?" Mr. Shuester said shaking his head.

"A while." Kurt said as they parted. "Twelve years. Wow. Seems like yesterday."

"I heard about Puck." Shue said. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Kurt. I know how much you both meant to each other."

"Thanks." Kurt said smiling.

"Emma and I wanted to come to the funeral, but she's in her last trimester. She can't fly and I just couldn't leave her, you know."

"That's no problem." Kurt said. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks. This is our fourth." Mr. Shue said. "We have three girls already." He explained. "This one is a boy."

"That's great." Kurt said. "I really should have kept in touch. I mean, you both did so much for me and -."

"No big deal." Mr Shue said. "You aren't the first kid to lose track of a teacher."

"Mr. Shuester." A voice from Kurt's past called from behind him. Kurt's heart jumped into his throat as he turned to find David Karofsky standing just a few feet from him.

Karofsky faltered when he saw Kurt, but then continued to approach the trio.

"David." Mr. Shue said. "You remember Kurt, don't you?"

"Yeah." Karofsky said. "How are you?"

"Fine." Kurt said feeling the air leave the room. Blaine moved in next to Kurt again.

"Kurt, how about we head back to the choir room." Blaine offered seeing Kurt's distress. "I know my kids would love to meet you."

"Sure." Kurt said. "It was really good to see you again, Mr. Shue."

"You, too, Kurt." Mr. Shue said as they turned back down the hall. "Don't be a stranger, now, okay?" Kurt nodded as he and Blaine retreated down the hall.

Once they were back in the choir room, Blaine turned toward Kurt.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked. "I thought you were going to pass out or something."

"Ghosts from the past is all." Kurt quipped.

"Old boyfriend?" Blaine teased.

"Nemesis, actually." Kurt offered. "And, why would you say, boyfriendinstead of girlfriend?"

"You went to the senior prom with Noah Puckerman." Blaine said. "I've seen the pictures in the Thunderclap."

"Oh." Kurt chuckled. "I forgot about that."

"Noah Puckerman was Prom King." Blaine said. "But, he didn't dance the first dance with the Prom Queen. She danced with her girlfriend and he danced with you." Kurt shrugged.

"We were trendsetters, I guess." Kurt said simply.

"You really gave a lot of kids the open they needed." Blaine said. "This place really changed after that. I mean, if Noah Puckerman could be out and proud, who couldn't?"

"You were here?" Kurt said.

"Oh, no." Blaine said. "I was at Dalton Academy. We competed against you a few times." Kurt nodded. "I came here to teach about 4 years ago, now."

"What do you teach?"

"Geometry." Blaine said. "Um, my kids'll be here soon, but I was wondering if you might want to get some coffee after school. I'd love to pick your brain a little if I could about Glee Club."

"Sure." Kurt said smiling.

Just the bell rang and the students filtered into the class room. Some of them recognized Kurt right away. A particular petite brunnette that reminded Kurt of Rachel knew everything about Kurt and his teammates. Kurt smiled as she began to talk his ear off about the whole thing before Blaine called her name and asked her to sit down please. Kurt smiled and watched them all respond to Blaine very similarly to the way he and his teammates were with Mr. Shue. It made for a lovely afternoon. Kurt smiled the whole time and, for once, didn't feel awful about not being sad about Puck.

-/-


	7. Chapter 7

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Seven

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

After class, Blaine said goodbye to his class and walked over to Kurt. He smiled and Kurt was once again taken by the other man's eyes.

"So, would you like to go get coffee with me and, maybe talk a little." Blaine asked shyly.

"Sure." Kurt said. "That would be nice actually."

Kurt was almost surprised when Blaine drove to the Lima Bean. Then again, it wasn't like there were tons of coffee shops in Lima. Kurt was actually happy to see that Finn wasn't behind the counter. That would have been awkward and Kurt didn't really want to deal with awkward right now.

They ordered and sat down at a small table near the counter to wait. Blaine smiled and looked away. The barista called them and Blaine went to get their order. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Blaine broke the silence.

"So, what's the deal with David?" Kurt looked uncomfortable and Blaine quickly back peddled. "I'm sorry. That is obviously none of my business." Blaine shook his head and mumbled stupid to himself.

"No, it's okay, really." Kurt said. "He just surprised me is all." Blaine nodded. "He tormented me, pushed me against lockers, called me names, and actually hate-kissed me when I confronted him." Kurt smiled a little. "That was when Noah, my late husband, that's when he told me how much he cared for me." Blaine smiled, too. "He came into the choir room where I went after Karofsky kissed me. He held me and sat with me and he told me that he felt all protective toward me. I doubt that he understood it all at the time." Kurt shrugged. "He'd slept with practically ever girl in Lima by then, so it was a bit of a shock when we started seeing each other." Kurt took a sip of his coffee. "Noah never backed down from anyone about our relationship, though. He was more than just out and proud, he was out and dangerous." Kurt smiled and Blaine smiled back.

"I saw the pictures of you and Noah in the yearbook." Blaine said. "I have to admit. I was kinda jealous, actually. I wish I'd had someone like him when I was in school." Blaine shook his head. "I came out freshman year. Not everyone was happy about it. My family included."

"My Dad already knew." Kurt said remembering that particular conversation vivdly. "He said he'd known since I was three. I wanted a pair of sensible heels for my birthday." Blaine chuckled. Kurt looked up.

"My mom was the same way." Blaine offered. "She said I loved to look at her fashion magazines with her. Said I told her I liked to look at the pretty boys in the pretty clothes." Kurt smiled. "Dad wasn't all that happy about it, though. Told my Mother that is was a phase I was going through." Blaine shook his head. "He's come around since then. I mean, Mom wouldn't have it any other way. We were a family and she was going to make Dad accept me if it was the last thing she did."

"Always good to have an ally." Kurt said.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?" Blaine asked suddenly. "I know I'm being forward, but I would really love to take you out." Blaine started to back peddle again.

"I think I'd like that." Kurt said quickly before Blaine could take the invitation back. Blaine beamed.

"Okay." Blaine said smiling widely. "Um, yeah, great. Great. Yeah." Kurt smiled at Blaine again. "There's a brand new Greek restaurant a few blocks from here. The Olive Branch. We could meet there tonight. Say, around 8."

"Sure." Kurt said. "I'll meet you there."

"Great." Blaine said with a stupidly wide grin on his face.

"I should get home." Kurt said. "I'll see you later, then."

The Olive Branch was a much more upscale restaurant than Kurt was actually expecting. He was glad now that he hadn't taken his father's advice and dressed more casually.

Kurt parked near the door and smiled when he saw Blaine standing at the entrance. Blaine saw Kurt as he walked up to the building.

"Hey." Blaine said smiling back.

"Hey, yourself." Kurt said taking in the way Blaine was dressed.

"I clean up pretty well, huh?" Blaine said noticing Kurt's scrutiny.

"Um, sure, yeah, you look great." Kurt said feeling the blood rush to his cheeks.

"You, too." Blaine said. "Shall we."

The dinner went extremely well. Blaine was funny, and smart and sexy as hell. He brushed his foot against Kurt's several times during the meal. Kurt didn't know if the other man was doing it on purpose, but he didn't really mind. Blaine flusstered Kurt and turned him on all at the same time. He hadn't felt like this since, well, since Noah.

"Would you like to come back to my place for a little while?" Blaine asked. "For a night cap, maybe."

"Sure." Kurt said.

The tension between Kurt and Blaine on the drive to Blaine's apartment was palpable. You could almost see the electricity coming off of them. Once they were in Blaine's apartment, Kurt didn't feel the need to hide it anymore.

Blaine held the door as Kurt walked in, but as soon as the door closed, Kurt turned around and pushed Blaine against it. He leaned in waiting. Kurt knew that he was pushing far too hard, too fast. But, he wanted this, no, he needed this.

Blaine recovered quickly from the surprise of Kurt's first move.

"Hell, yes." Blaine whispered as he pressed his lips to Kurt's.

Kurt smiled against Blaine's lips and began to push Blaine's coat off his shoulders letting it fall to the floor.

"Where?" Kurt asked stuggling to relieve Blaine of his shirt while his lips traveled down the side of Blaine's face.

"Bedroom." Blaine hissed when Kurt found a particularly sensitive spot on Blaine's throat just below his ear. "This way." Blaine said pushing back on Kurt's shoulders and grabbing his hand.

Blaine led Kurt down a short hallway and into a small bedroom. The bed sat in the middle of the room. Kurt smiled and took control again. Kurt plundered Blaine's mouth causing the short man to whimper slightly. Kurt pushed Blaine backwards toward the bed. Blaine knees hit the side of the bed and he sat down. Kurt straddled Blaine's lap. Blaine looked up at Kurt and grinned.

"Wow." Blaine said softly. "I had no idea that this was going to happen today."

"Me either." Kurt said. "It's been awhile, actually."

"Are you sure about this?" Blaine asked concern in his eyes.

"Oh, yes." Kurt said breathlessly. "I don't think I could be anymore sure about anything." Blaine smiled and leaned up to kiss Kurt again.

-/-

The morning sun streamed through the window waking Kurt. He knew immediately that he wasn't in a familiar place, but the man in his arms was very familiar. Blaine didn't awaken, he snuggled closer to Kurt. Kurt smiled.

Last night had been something to remember. Kurt hadn't felt the passion and fire that he felt last night in a very long time. Not since before Noah got sick. He looked down into Blaine's face. Blaine looked incredibly young in sleep. The memory of Noah in much the same way caused a sudden pang of sadness in Kurt. Silent tears slid down his face once again. He was beginning to think that he'd never stop crying. He wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"What is it?" Kurt looked down once again to find Blaine looking up at him concerned.

"Just. . . the memories catch me off guard sometimes." Kurt sniffed. "Noah and I were together for a long time."

"Tell me about him." Blaine said turning to face Kurt.

"Why?"

"He's apart of you." Blaine explained. "And, I want to know everything about you."

"You just met me." Kurt scoffed. "Why would you want to know _everything_ about me?"

"Well, I'm hoping that last night wasn't the _only_ night." Blaine said. "For us, I mean."

"Blaine." Kurt said suddenly serious. "I don't live here. I will be going back to New York. My friends are there, so is my job, my life."

"Oh." Blaine frowned.

"I just buried my husband not long ago." Kurt said. "I'm not looking for anything more, yet." Kurt could tell that he was hurting Blaine and he hated himself for it.

"No, I understand." Blaine said. "Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Want to make some breakfast together?"

"Sure." Kurt said.

Blaine pulled himself up from the bed and dragged on the boxers he'd discarded the night before.

"Meet me in the kitchen." Blaine said. Kurt nodded.

Kurt dragged on his undershirt and pulled on his pants before following.

"How do you like your eggs?" Blaine asked as Kurt walked into the kitchen. "I put some bacon in the broiler. And, there's bread in the toaster."

"Scrambled is good for me." Kurt shrugged.

"Scrambled it is then." Blaine smiled.

Kurt moved in behind Blaine and wrapped his arms around the shorter man as Blaine worked on cooking the eggs.

"You aren't mad?" Kurt asked putting his chin on Blaine's shoulder.

"Not really." Blaine said. "We can have today though, right? I mean, we can spend some time together before you leave?"

"Sure." Kurt said. Blaine turned in his arms and looked Kurt in the eye.

"I'll take what I can get." Blaine said.

-/-

"You didn't come home last night."

Kurt looked up to see his father standing in the doorway of the kitchen as he entered his childhood home. Kurt nodded. Burt nodded back before walking over to the breakfast bar.

"What's up, Dad?" Kurt asked.

Burt didn't say anything he just held out his hand. Kurt looked at the envelope in his father's hand and cocked his head to the side slightly.

"You?"

"I told him it was a bad idea." Burt said shaking his head. "I didn't want to do it, but he was dying. He made me promise. What else was I supposed to do?"

"You sent all those letters?" Kurt said angrily. "You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me? You let me believe that Noah was somehow sending them to me from beyond the grave or whatever?"

"Kurt, Noah is the first and only man you have ever loved." Burt said. "And, he knew that you would never be able to move on without a little nudge."

"A nudge?"

"Listen to me." Burt said. "Puck talked to me before he got too far along. He knew that you would get stuck. That you wouldn't be able to move on. He knew it, Kurt. And, he was right." Burt huffed out a breath and dropped his hands to sides. "You were lost, Kurt. I know it. You know it. And, the letters got you moving again." Kurt shook his head. "The girls were going to take you out for your birthday no matter what, but you would have gone back inside your safe little cocoon and that would have been that, but Noah couldn't let that happen and neither could I."

"So I sent the first package." Burt said. "Well, I sent it to Rachel and she sent it to you."

"Rachel was in on this, too?" Kurt shouted.

"She saw you drowning, Kurt, and she wanted to help." Burt said. "Don't even think of taking this out on her. She lost her brother, too, you know?"

"I know, but this is too much, Dad?"

"I lost your mother when you were six, Kurt." Burt said. "That is a long, long time to be alone. I don't want that for you. You spent enough time alone before you had Noah, I'll be damned if I was going to let you turn into me."

"Dad?" Kurt said much softer now. The anger draining from him completely.

"I love you too much to let that happen, Kurt." Burt said.

"Oh, Dad?" Kurt said walking over and pulling Burt into a hug.

"This is the last one." Burt said as he pulled away. "This is the most important one and Noah wanted you to know it was me who helped him and why." Kurt nodded as tears stood in his eyes. "Take it home with you. Read it there. He was adamant about you reading it in New York."

"Okay." Kurt said pulling Burt into a hug once more.

-/-


	8. Chapter 8

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Eight

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

A few days later, Kurt opened the door to his apartment in New York. He dropped his bags next to the door and collapsed on the sofa. He allowed himself a moment or two to settle a bit then dragged his carryon to him from where he'd dropped on the floor next to the chair.

He'd packed the letter away in his carry on, afraid he wouldn't be able to not read it. He'd even toyed with the idea of putting it in his checked bag, but decided against it because of the fear of the airline losing his bag and thus losing the letter.

He pulled the letter from the bag and stared at it. It was addressed to him in Noah's scratchy hand writing. He took a deep breath and then opened the letter. It was thinner than the others, only one page. Kurt checked the envelope to be sure that he didn't miss anything and then he unfolded it and began to read.

_**Dear Kurt, **_

_**I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, you're at the market and you'll be back at any moment. I have a feeling that this is the last letter, because I have only one thing left to tell you. **_

_**It isn't to send you down memory lane, or what you need to buy or to wear. You don't need any help from me. You can take care of yourself. You always have.**_

_**It's to tell you how much you move me. How you changed me. You made me a man by loving me, Kurt. I've been with tons of women and thought I was the Sex God: Puckzilla. Who knew that loving a **_**man**_**would make me more of a man than screwing all of the women in the world, right? You made me a man, Kurt, and for that I am eternally grateful. **_

_**If you can promise me anything, Kurt, promise me that when you're sad, or unsure, or you completely lose faith, that you will try and see yourself through my eyes. See you for the absolutely incredible person you are.**_

_**Thank you for the honor of being my husband, my friend, and the love of my life. Thank you for giving me the honor of you being in my life. You made my life, Kurt. But, I'm just one chapter in yours. There will be more. Your life doesn't end with mine. I promise. **_

_**So, here it comes. **_**The Big One**_**. **_

_**Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch for that signal, that special sign, the one that tells you that life as you know it is coming to a close. It will happen, Kurt. There will be another who will love you and whom you will love. Don't be afraid to find him, Kurt. Fall in love, be happy, and move on. **_

_**P.S. I will always love you. **_

Kurt set the letter down on the coffee table as tears once again slid down his cheeks. He smiled.

_Noah._ He thought. _You always knew what to say._

Noah had never been one for words, but he always knew exactly what Kurt needed to hear. Even when it was something difficult or something that Kurt didn't want to deal with. Noah knew how to say it. Knew how to phrase things to diffuse an arguement or how to turn Kurt on so completely that he would all but drag Noah to the bedroom to properly take care of the situation.

Kurt turned his attention to the light on his answering machine. It was blinking and he saw the number "4" on the number of messages received. He walked over to the counter and pressed to button to review them.

_"Hey, Kurt it's Rachel. Just wanted to see if you had gotten home, yet. Call me when you get this. Love you." _

Kurt smiled and went in search of the handset for the phone when the next message started.

_"Kurt, it's Dad. Call me when you get home. Love you, Kiddo."_

Kurt found the handset mixed with the remotes on the tv stand and decided to call his Father first. He listened to the last two messages, one from Lorraine, the other from Santana with Brittany in the background shouting about how much she loved him and something about dolphins that he didn't understand. He'd call them back in the morning.

He called Burt and talked to him for about an hour before begging off to get some sleep. Burt told Kurt he loved him and Kurt smiled as he hung up.

Kurt then gave Rachel a quick check in call. He apologized for waking her and promised to have lunch with her the following afternoon.

Kurt went to bed and dreamed about Lima and a certain hazel-eyed man. When he awoke, he had an idea as to what he wanted to do.

-/-

The following day, Kurt called Lorraine to tell her he had an inspiration, but he wanted to finish it at home before bringing anything to her.

"Very well, Love." She said. "I will expect something very soon, though."

"Give me a couple of weeks." Kurt said confidently. "I'll have something you'll love, I promise."

"Very well." Lorraine said. "I will indulge you for two more weeks. But, I will need something of substance by then, Sweet Porcelin. Otherwise -." She trailed off.

"Not to fear." Kurt said smiling.

Kurt kept his promise and met Rachel for lunch. He talked animately about his new idea and Rachel volunteered to help him shop for fabric.

Together they spent the afternoon looking at bolt after bolt of fabric before deciding on specifics and heading back to Kurt's apartment.

"I cannot wait to see the finished product, Kurt." Rachel said. "It's going to be amazing. I just know it."

"Thank you." Kurt said smiling as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.

"For what?" Rachel asked obviously confused.

"For being my friend." Kurt said.

"And, cheerleader, and number one fan, and favorite sister-in-law." Rachel offered.

"I love you, Rachel Berry." Kurt said and pulled Rachel into a hug. "Better get to work."

"I'll see you in a couple of days, then." Rachel said smiling. "Oh, and by the way, I love you, too."

-/-

Kurt was nervous. He'd worked practically non-stop for the last two weeks and was convinced that his designs, while unique, were also amazing. He hadn't been so inspired in his work in ages.

He sat accross from Lorraine as she perused his portfolio and studied the prototype design he convinced Santana to model for him.

Lorraine looked up at him suddenly and smiled.

"These are delightful, Porceline." Lorraine said. "Steam Punk inspired. Dark Gothic. They are absolutely beatuiful. And, to put them on such a beautiful

model. . ." She trailed off. "Such deep colors, purples and reds. My head is spinning. Where on earth did these come from?"

"I'm not sure." Kurt said honestly. "I just saw them in my head."

"And, this is a wedding dress?" Lorraine asked. Kurt nodded. "Amazing. I have seen my fair share of black wedding dresses, but most of them are flat and uninspired. These are amazing."

"I have more." Kurt offered.

"More?" Lorraine looked at him startled.

Kurt nodded. "It's a play on the tuxedo dress. But a little more out there."

"Oh my." Lorraine said staring at the designs Kurt placed in front of her. "These are. . . unbelieveable." Lorraine turned the page of Kurt's portfolio. "A cage dress?"

"Again, a play on the tuxedo dress." Kurt offered almost apologetically. "I told you they were out there."

"Indeed." Lorraine said. "I want to feature them in the next show. How fast can you have them ready?"

"A week?"

"A week?!"

"Most of them are already complete."

"Kurt Hummel-Puckerman." Lorraine gasped. "You got all this done in that short a time." Kurt shrugged. "Alright, then. Let's do it. The buyers are going to completely blown away. I can't wait to see them."

End Chapter 8.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Nine

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The next weeks were a blur and a whirlwind. Kurt's designs were a smash hit. The buyers couldn't get enough, the critics couldn't shut up about them, and Lorraine was over the moon about her "latest discovery". Kurt could only smile at the last part. He'd worked for Lorraine for nearly 10 years. And, suddenly he was her golden boy, her prodigy, her overnight sensation.

The accolades were abundant. Kurt worked long, hard hours. He barely slowed down.

He was working late in his design shop when he heard someone clear his throat. He looked up to find, Finn, the Lima Bean baristo, standing in the door way.

"Finn?"

"Hey." Finn said.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you, but you never came back to _the Bean_, and then I saw this on the news stand." He held up a fashion magazine with Kurt's picture on it along with a model wearing one of his designs. "So, here I am."

"You came all the way to New York just to see me?" Kurt asked unconvinced.

"Well, that and the audition I had this afternoon." Finn smiled making Kurt smile, too. "I thought we had a connection or something?"

"Yeah, but then I was still mourning my Husband and it got a little messy." Finn looked at Kurt questioningly. "I went back to my Dad's house and cried for a couple of hours."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, I should have been upfront with you." Kurt offered. "It just hurt too much. It was like I was cheating on Noah. It's stupid."

"No, I get it." Finn said. He moved to stand closer to Kurt. "Are you still in mourning now?" He asked.

Before Kurt could answer, Finn leaned down to capture Kurt's lips in a tender, sweet kiss. Kurt was into it at first, but then he opened his eyes to see Finn staring at him.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Um." Finn said biting his bottom lip. "Nothing. Come here."

They kissed again. The kiss deepened as Finn pulled Kurt closer, but then he just stopped again.

"Huh." Finn said looking at Kurt strangely.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Don't get me wrong." Finn said. "You are all kinds of hot, but I just don't feel it."

"Neither do I." Kurt confessed. "It's like, kissing -."

"- my brother." Finn finished. Kurt nodded. "Damn. You are one of the hottest guys I've met in ages, and you're like my brother." Kurt chuckled. "Star Wars much?"

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked a bit confused.

"Luke and Leia. Star Wars." Finn explained. "Princess Leia, hottest chick in the galaxy, and she's Luke Skywalker's _sister_."

Kurt laughed out loud at that. "Are you saying I'm like Princess Leia?"

"Minus the metal bikini." Finn quipped. "Would you like to go get something to eat?" Finn added.

"Sure." Kurt said. "Just let me get my bag and lock up."

Several months had passed since Kurt's last visit to Lima. And, Burt was already asking if he would be home for Christmas. For the first time in years, Kurt felt like he really did want to be at home for Christmas. He and Rachel both made plans to go home and Santana and Britany invited themselves along.

When Kurt arrived at Burt's house, Kurt was happy and a little surprised by the decorations. Burt hadn't really decorated for Christmas beyond a small tree in the living room since Kurt had moved to New York. but, this year, Burt had put all the outside lights up as well as the indoor decorations. Garland, tinsel, and poinsettias were everywhere.

"Wow, Dad, the house looks awesome." Kurt said after hugging his Dad."

"Well, it's like a special occasion." Burt offered.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

Just then a dark haired woman came out of the kitchen. She was around the same age as Burt. She smiled at Kurt.

"Kurt, this is Carole." Burt said.

"Hello, Carole." Kurt said shaking Carole's hand then turning back to his father.

"She and I have been seeing each other for a little while now." Burt explained.

"Really?" Kurt asked.

"It so nice to finally meet you, Kurt." Carole said. "You're Dad has told me so much about you. It's like I know you already."

"Sorry, to spring this on you like this, son," Burt offered, "but, you've been so busy, I didn't want to tell you about it on a quickie phone call, you know. It's too important."

"You live here?" Kurt asked haltingly.

"Oh, no." Carole said.

"Not yet." Burt interjected.

Carole swatted Burt's arm playfully. Kurt smiled. It had been a very long time since he's seen the look on his father's face.

"And, I can't wait for you to meet my son, Finn." Carole added.

"Finn." Kurt looked up quickly.

"Yes." Carole said. "He works at the Lima Bean. He should be here soon."

"Like now." Finn said as he entered the kitchen from the garage. "Hi, Kurt."

"Hey."

"You two know each other?" Burt asked.

"From the Bean." Finn answered quickly.

"Oh." Burt shrugged and led the way into the living room.

Kurt and Carole hit it off quickly when they decided to go shopping for gifts. They had a wonderful day and by the time they got back to the house practically everyone had a gift wrapped and ready to go under the tree.

"The tree looks awesome, Dad." Kurt smiled at the large Douglass Pine.

"Well, you can thank Finn for that one." Burt offered. "He thought my artificial tree looked like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, so he went out and found this one."

"Nice." Kurt said smiling widely at Finn.

"I love real trees." Finn said smiling back. "Makes the whole house smell like, like Christmas, you know?" Kurt nodded.

"Egg Nog everyone." Carole called as she came out of the kitchen carrying a tray.

"What is Christmas without a little yuletide spirit?" Burt offered and took one of the cups.

"Speaking of Christmas spirit," Finn offered, "there's a whole Christmas festival thing downtown tomorrow night." He took another sip of egg nog. "There's going to be music and a lighting ceremony for the city, and Santa, of course."

"Of, course." Burt chuckled.

"Mom and I are going." Finn offered. "You guys want to come with?"

"I think that would be a lot of fun." Burt said. "What do you say, Kurt? Want to go?"

"Sure." Kurt said softly. "Sounds great."

"It's a date." Finn said smiling.

Kurt gave him an odd look."

Later, Finn was helping Kurt wash dishes when he just had to ask.

"A date, huh?" Kurt asked.

"Uh, no, I meant for Mom and Burt." Finn said. "Is that why you looked at me so strange?" Kurt nodded. "No, no. I got the message loud and clear. I get it. You and I are friends. I like the idea of that, especially considering how close out parents are."

"I like Carole." Kurt said. "She's really very sweet."

"Yeah, Mom's great." Finn smiled handing Kurt a plate he's just rinsed for him to dry. "I like Burt, too. Helps that he's already done the whole 'gay son' thing, so the 'gay step-son' will be a breeze."

"Whoa, whoa." Kurt said. "Step brother? Really?" Finn nodded. "They're really that serious?"

"At their age," Finn whispere, "I don't think they want to wait." He shrugged. "Hell, at our age, there really isn't all that much reason to wait, either."

"I know what you mean." Kurt shooked his head. "Noah and I always thought we had all the time in the world to do what we wanted to do. We put certain things off because we figured we'd always have time to go back to them. Who knew?"

"You never know." Finn shrugged. "That's the point." He finished rinsing the last of the pots and set them in the drain. "And, I want it all. I want to find that perfect someone. I want to get married and have kids, you know, everything."

"We wanted kids." Kurt said. "Well, Noah did. I kept dragging my feet."

"Why?"

"At the time, I thought, I wanted to wait until we were more stable, you know, financially, emotionally, and all, but now -." Kurt said his voice cracking. "I just don't know."

"Well, when you get another chance -."

"If." Kurt countered.

"No," Finn said, "_when_ you get another chance, don't wait. Don't hesitate. Do it all and don't hold back." Finn gave Kurt a crooked smirk. "Like you said, Bro, you never know."

"Noted." Kurt smiled. "And, don't call me Bro."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Title:**_ P.S., I Love You

_**Chapter:**_ Ten

_**Author:**_ Cyn

_**Summary:**_ Kurt lost the love of his life, his husband, Noah Puckerman. He isn't handling it very well. What happens when he receives a package on his 30th birthday from his late husband?

_**Catergory:**_ UA - My take on the movie of the same name.

_**Warning:**_ _**Character death**_. Don't hate. I had to kill off someone and Puck just made the most sense for my purposes. Sorry.

_**Disclaimer:**_ Not real. Lies, I tell you. Complete and utter lies. ;)

_**Author's Notes:**_ Constructive criticism always welcome. Flame on if you must, but I tend to be fire retardant. Besides, I don't offend easily and I usually just delete what I don't like anyway, so why waste time and energy.

And now, on with the story. . .

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~*~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kurt had a great time at the festival. There were roaming carolers as well as the Salvation Army Band.

Finn was acting like a dork and continuing to refer to Kurt as 'bro'. He even dragged Kurt to see Santa Claus. They both sat on the surprised man's lap and had their picture taken. Finn smiled widely as Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas, Kurt." Finn said.

"Maybe you should ask him for a new brain." Kurt chuckled.

"He's Santa, Bro, not _The Wizard of Oz_." Finn scoffed.

"Stop calling me Bro." Kurt said through clenched teeth a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Tell him what you want for Christmas then, _Kurt_." Finn said.

Kurt was about to say something snippy when Blaine walked by. Kurt froze and just stared. Finn looked in the direction Kurt was staring and smiled.

"Nice choice, Bro." Finn said slapping Kurt on the back.

"Shut up." Kurt said Finn's voice breaking Kurt away from staring at Blaine.

"I don't know if he'll fit in your stocking, though." Finn teased. "He is kinda on the small side, though, so maybe -."

"Shut up, Finn." Kurt said blushing.

"You should go talk to him."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

"Screw complicated, Kurt." Finn offered. "Didn't we just talk about this?"

"We did?"

"Yeah." Finn quipped. "Why wait? Remember?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Finn shrugged. "Go talk to him."

"But, it's complicated." Kurt repeated. "Too complicated. We, um, well, that is -."

"You slept with him, didn't you?"

"Finn." Kurt said warningly and looked around to see where Burt and Carole were.

"So, you already know he's into you." Finn said. "What's the problem?"

"I was still mourning Noah." Kurt said. Finn nodded. "I couldn't be with him completely. I told him as much. Besides,, what if he found someone else?" Kurt shrugged. "I mean, it's been months since then."

"You won't know until you try." Finn said. He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and turned him around. "Go talk to him." Kurt continued to hesitate. Finn turned Kurt around aiming him in Blaine's direction.

Kurt was about to turn back around and berate Finn for manhandling him when Blaine turned and saw them. Blaine smiled and started walking Kurt's way.

"Fuck." Kurt said under his breath.

"Go get'em, Tiger." Finn breathed before quietly moving away.

"Kurt?" Blaine said once he got close enough.

"Hey."

"It's good to see you." Blaine offered. "Was that Finn Hudson?"

"Oh, yeah." Kurt said dismissively looking in the direction Finn had disappeared in. "He's an idiot." Blaine frowned. "His mom is dating my father and he's acting like my idiot brother."

"Oh." Blaine smiled. "I saw your show." Kurt looked surprised. "I caught the live stream online. And, your cover on Vogue." Kurt smiled shyly and blushed. "And, your turn on 'Fashion Police'."

"Oh, you mean, the circus." Kurt said. "You look good."

"You, too." Blaine said. Kurt didn't miss the look in Blaine's eyes. Kurt looked away a blush threatening. "Just home for the holidays, then?"

"Yeah." Kurt said turning to watch Burt as he attempted to win a prize for Carole at one of the game booths. "I've been so busy. I knew I'd better come home for Christmas. I thought Dad would be lonely." Burt put his arm around Carole and kissed her sweetly. "Not so much."

"I saw them at Breastix last week." Blaine offered. "So, you and Finn are -?"

"Friends." Kurt said without hesitation. "We thought there might be something more, but no. Just friends. And, if our parents have anything to say about it, brothers, too."

"That's great." Blaine said a little too enthusiastically. "I mean, it's great that your parents are happy."

"Right." Kurt said unconvinced. "What would you say to a cup of hot cocoa?"

"I'd say, yes."

Kurt smiled. Blaine smiled back and they walked together toward the food vendors.

Kurt and Blaine was sitting at a bench drinking their cocoa and talking when Burt and Carole walked up. Carole was holding a large giraffe and smiling widely.

"Kurt." She called holding the stuffed animal out as she walked. "See what your Dad won for me."

"That's great." Kurt said smiling back.

"Yeah, and it only took 25 tries." Burt joked.

"I'll go get us some cocoa, Burt." Carole offered. "Hold Stretch."

Burt took the toy and sat down heavily next to Kurt.

"Don't tell Carole, but I actually gave the kid 20 bucks to just give me the prize." Burt said in a whisper. Kurt chuckled. "It's worth every cent just to see her smile."

Kurt smiled and turned to Blaine. Blaine had the same look in his eyes that Kurt's father was giving Carole. Kurt cocked his head to the side for a second and smiled even wider.

_Why wait, indeed. _Kurt thought to himself.

"Dad, I want you to meet, Blaine." Kurt said motioning toward the other man. "Blaine, this is my Dad."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel." Blaine said shaking Burt's hand.

Burt looked at Blaine then at Kurt. He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Nice to meet you, too." Burt said.

The end.

**After Notes: So, I am open for writing a sequel if I get enough feedback from this story. So, read and review. Let me know if you want me to write a sequel. :)**


	11. author's note

_**Author's Note**_:

Okay so, I am totally up for writing a sequel. It will probably be only a epilogue to this story, but I still haven't gotten a big enough response.

If you want a epilogue, you have to ask for it.

Not just favorite the story or me or follow it, you have to review it.

I have to a stickler for this because, well, unfortunately, I'm just like that. I need more than just one review asking for a sequel.

So, review and tell me what you want.

Thanks.

Cyn :)


	12. Author's Note 20

_**Author's Note**_:

Thank you for all the support. I am happy to write an epilogue, as soon as it comes to me.

I have tried a couple of times and been unsuccessful.

If you have any ideas as to what I should write, please send it to me.

Cyn

:)


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